becky not rebecca

Regarding a Gal Called Mom (Part 1 of what could be 800 or more parts because I could fill a book, obviously)

niceshitisay:

If you can imagine having the ability to see yourself objectively, to view your emotions from a place of reason, to view your logic from a place of experience, to view your actions from a place of pure intention – this is my mother to me. She is a mirror into my soul, the California Closets to the clutter of my heart. It is no exaggeration to say she knows me better than I know myself because she has the ability to see me free of the dusty veil of bias and emotion that often surrounds my own attempt to understand what the hell I am doing/thinking/feeling at any given moment. I’ll put this in writing and I’ll stand by it eternally: My mom is always right. Always. This hasn’t been disproved once, not once, in the history of all (my) time. The last time I didn’t take her advice, I ended up crying for the better part of three months and singing Baby Come Back to her over the phone while wandering the streets of Bed-Stuy in the middle of the night, the finer details of which I would rather not disclose but, what, like it’s rocket science, everybody’s got feelings.

But that is part of what makes her such a wonderful mother, such a wonderful molder-of-human-beings. She will give advice, but she will give it objectively, without judgment, and she will leave it to the Decider to determine what’s best. Even if the aforementioned Decider is stubborn and impulsive and somehow – somehow! – still hasn’t managed to learn to just do what her mother says.

On the seeming other end of the spectrum from Sage and Ultimate Knower of All Things, is a spirit that is childlike and uninhibited. My mother believes that no one should truly grow up and that being told you’re weird is a compliment. I know this because when I was little she used to say, “Don’t ever grow up and if you’re ever told you’re weird, it’s a compliment.” She entirely experiences and appreciates every moment – big or small – relishing most in the small. She has been known to tell me, on more than one occasion, to “stop and smell the roses.” And, like, I know, Ma. But what if there are double-fudge brownies just past these roses? They smell much better AND you can eat them and I must have them, now please and not later. But Beck, don’t let your life pass you by, will you just SLOW DOWN AND RELAX or at least take this herbal supplement that will help you slow down and relax?

Sure, Mom, thanks, can you send me like 14 boxes?

So granted, I was not made perfectly, but I was made well and I was made good and I have no idea how she (and my dad!) have done it but I am forever indebted to them for not totally screwing it up. Not only were they able to keep both my brother and me alive this whole time (a miracle!) but somewhere in there, they also managed to raise kind, competent, and pretty rad adults and that seems like a near impossibility to me, I don’t know how anyone does it and I think you all are crazy.

My mother – by example, by essence, by word, by deed – has imbued me with inquisitiveness and imagination; she has given me my sense of humor, my pummeling optimism, and my emphatic appreciation for the world and those who are in it. She taught me to care actively and unrelentingly for the people in my life and not to value money or possessions but relationships and moments and happiness, in whatever way that means for me.

I often “blame” my mom for things like my neuroses, my anxiety, and my propensity to cry at things that most people wouldn’t (i.e., the dentist or other people’s children). But there’s beauty in the chaos. Because while still waters may run deep, they also run dull (zing!) and who knows what’s lurking under there, are you kidding me, it is dark. And as long as I have her to help me navigate the sometimes-tumult of my cranial seas, I think I’ll make it out alive. (Until that Type 1 Diabetes she also gave me kills me, LOL MOM, I am joking! It is cool!)

I am putting this Nice Shit right in your face because it is about my mom and because my mom is awesome.